Words From The Heart
Then I began to move my hands over the Wall-
over names I did not know,
slow at first, and then faster, almost frantically-
at first not knowing why-
but then knowing-
I was looking for one name,
I was looking for the one groove my hands would know the best,
the one that would confirm what I always knew
to be true but was afraid to admit,
a name that wasn't there but should have been-
mine.
It was that realization, that surprise,
when it all rushed in, the horribleness too horrible to
remember-
too awful to forget-
When it all came back in on me-overwhelming me,
forcing me to face what I could not accept
The source of my guilt, my one great sin-
I had lived, I had survived. I came back...
I left the Wall.
I ascended out of that deep, dark hole a different person.
Tired, emotionally exhausted,
I stood there looking back where I had been.
I knew my pain had not magically left me-
I carry it with me today-but I carry it, it no longer carries
me.
This was the healing I could not find before-
The Wall told me my name was not there
and said go live your life, you do not belong here.
And so I do, live my life now, beyond the Wall.
Patrick Overton, Ph.D.
Columbia, MO
excerpt from The Healing Wall